What do I want to be?

 A sermon I preached on the Conversion of St.Paul at St.Padarns on 25.01.2023

What did you want to be when you grew up? Apparently, when I was 4, I wanted to be the Pope.  Later on I wanted to be a prima ballerina, a teacher, a librarian, a fashion designer, a brick layer. I had eclectic tastes. 

Today we are celebrating the conversion of Paul the apostle (Acts 9:1-22). The great evangelist, letter writer and martyr. If he had been asked as a child what he wanted to be when he grew up the answer would not have been any of those descriptions. In fact in the reading we heard from the letter to the Galatians (1:11-16) he described himself as one who was “ ....advancing in Judaism beyond many of my own age among my people and...extremely zealous for the traditions of my fathers.” 

When I think of Paul I always think of him as having been a bright and rising star. He was clever, he was committed and he was even zealous. The word zealous can be described as being passionate about a cause. Saul was passionate for God and for his beliefs.

I could imagine him being one of the names you would want to watch. I can imagine young women desperate to make a good and pleasing marriage with someone so important. Today he might have been someone you want to meet, someone impressive and imagine being found with someone like Saul in the temple. You would have street cred.

Of course that was all to change. Life turned around. The man who could only do right in the eyes of the leaders of his faith completely turned against what he was meant to be doing. Saul, was on his way to persecute Christians, and then he had an amazing moment where he was blinded and heard the voice of Jesus. He completely turned around, he wasn’t going to persecute the followers of Jesus as he became one himself.

Talk about a complete turn around. Except what he ended up doing was not a turn around at all. He was still zealous but now he was zealous for Jesus. He knew that the God he had worshipped and followed had come amongst us. He knew that Jesus was worth knowing and so he was still as zealous but now he could see that his zeal had been a little misplaced or confused.

Tom Wright in his book, “Paul” wonders whether Saul was actually practising a type of meditation that was popular amongst Jews at the time. This meditation involved focussing on Ezekiel’s vision of a chariot of fire coming from heaven. This in turn would be a way to bring God to the person meditating. It is only a thought, but I love the idea that Saul may have been focussing so much on God at that moment, that for him to hear the voice of Jesus, God Himself, must have been amazing.

Our first hymn this morning Amazing Grace, spoke about the moment when God saved us on the cross. It doesn't matter who we are, we turn to Him.  I think the whole idea that God is there for us and speaks to us, whether through other people or something we read is the best thought ever. 

One of my favourite books is called, “what's so amazing about Grace.” This book is by Philip Yancey and in it he tells the stories of people who have experienced and practised grace to one another. It really is a great book. One of my favourite parts is actually in the blurb on the back. It says, ‘there is nothing we can do to make God love us less and nothing we can do to make God love us more.’ 

I remember that I used to spend so much time trying to please God that I forgot that the cross and forgiveness was not to make me feel guilty but to make me feel free. Those words made me have a sudden, ‘well obviously’ realisation. Jesus didn't die to make us work hard to find Him. We could almost change the words in the hymn Amazing Grace, ‘I once was lost but now am found’ to,  ‘I once was lost but now am free’.

Paul had been zealous for God, always trying to make sure that he kept to the laws he had known. Then he became zealous for Jesus, he would not stop preaching about Jesus.

Talk about a turn around. We have all experienced a call from God, it may have been a complete turn around for us, that made us think - really? Or it may have been more of a - ‘yes, of course’ moment. In our quiet moments praying, thinking about God we may have felt a sense of overwhelming peace and love, it may have been less dramatic than Paul’s experience, but it certainly was a moment between us and God. 

No matter what we wanted, or expected to be, how perfect to know that we can and do change. It is also good to remember that none of us are the perfect Christian. None of us is the finished article, that will only happen in heaven. In the meantime we are trying to bring heaven to earth by the way we live and the ways that we seek to be more like God.

Maybe rather than what do we want to be when we grow up, or what we wanted to be when we grew up we would do well to remember that God loves us and all He really wants is that we will seek to be more like Him day by day. Also, there really is nothing we can do to make God loves us more and nothing we can do to make God love us less. After all, God always loved Paul even when he was persecuting the Christians. AMEN  

The importance of being.....

I have never been one to feel important but I do know that I have met some very important people. For example,  I remember meeting Barbie in David Morgans in Cardiff when I was a little girl. I was so excited, please don't tell me she wasn't real!! 

I also remember meeting a theologian who was well-respected when I was 19 years old. I was so shy that when he said hello to me and commented on my t-shirt the best words I could muster came out. They were, ‘yes and thank you’ whilst looking at the floor. It wasn't my finest moment.

I hope I would have done better meeting Jesus.  I wonder though how the first followers of Jesus felt as they realised how important He was. Last week when I thought about the readings for Sunday I considered what it meant to follow Jesus and to be like Him. The gospel for this week (Matthew 4:12-23) talks of John and James joining Andrew and Simon Peter in following Jesus. 

Peter was to go through quite a turmoil as he followed. He was the one who seemed to keep getting things wrong. Yet, after the resurrection, Jesus told Peter that he was the one on whom the Church would be built. Peter, who was also known as Cephas.  The reason for this is that the name Peter is from the Greek rock and Cephas is a Hebrew version of rock.  

In the epistle reading (1 Corinthians 1:10-18) we read of a Church in turmoil as the followers did not seem able to agree on whom they belonged to. Paul pointed out that some saw themselves as belonging to Apollos, who had looked after the Church in Paul’s absence. Others seemed to see themselves as belonging to Paul. Others still were saying that they belonged to Peter and the way he taught.

All important people. However, Paul pointed out that as Jesus was One, they should be as well. They needed to stop being divided amongst themselves. Apollos, Paul and Peter (Cephas) had all been teaching the people about Jesus. Yes, they had done a good thing by teaching about Jesus, however, none of them was as great as Jesus. 

Following the train of Paul's thought, he wrote that Jesus had been crucified for them.  They had been baptised in the name of Jesus. It was Him to whom they belonged.

I know that I can sometimes be so impressed by important people talking about Jesus that I don't listen enough to Him. I need to make sure that my focus is on Jesus first.  He calls us all to know Him and to love Him. A little like a meerkat would say, ‘simples’! Except life isn't always simple. All Jesus asks is that we love Him and He will help us through the rest. 

The first verse of the Psalm (27) for Sunday is a really good help to remind us that we are important enough, even if we don't feel it, for God to protect us, He is our light, our everything. 

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom then shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom then shall I be afraid?”

I wanna be like you

I often find certain songs will pop into my head that I can't stop singing to myself. One of these came about when I looked at the gospel reading for this coming Sunday (John 1:29-42). The song was “I wanna be like you”. This is from the Disney film ‘The Jungle Book’. It is sung by the bear, Baloo, to Mowgli a little boy. Baloo wanted to be able to make fire and to be like a human.

The words, “I wanna be like you” sounds like a perfect description of what being a follower of Jesus should be. In  the Gospel reading (John 1:29-42) we read of Andrew following Jesus, and he was so impressed that he called his brother Simon Peter to join him in seeing Jesus.

Following is more than just traipsing behind. This is because it really is about trying to be like the one we follow. Earlier in the gospel reading, John the Baptist was able to tell people who Jesus was.  This is because he had not only baptised Jesus but he had seen the Spirit of God descend on Him like a dove. It is easy to see why John believed, he had seen something amazing. Not just this but, he decided that he needed to tell others. Just like Andrew, he decided that he needed to share the news. I wonder whether this is following as well? It makes sense. After all, to be more like Jesus, we do as He did. This involves telling others about Him. 

If following also involves telling others, then what does it mean to follow Jesus ? I don't think we have to sing, “I wanna be like you’ to Jesus but of course this does mean following and acting like He did and does.

In the passage we only read that Andrew and Peter followed. If this was all we knew about the disciples then we would only think of following as choosing Jesus. Not a bad start but what comes next? Of course as we read on in the gospel we read of Jesus having 12 disciples plus others who followed Him. They saw Jesus teach, heal, love others and ultimately be crucified and resurrected for us.

What does it all mean for us to follow so we can be just like Jesus?  For me the words of the collect for Sunday sum everything up. It is my favourite collect. This is because it admits that we need the grace of God to transform us, so that we can become more like the one we follow. We just need to be humble enough to ask God to make us more like Him.

The collect is: 

 Almighty God,

in Christ you make all things new:

transform the poverty of our nature by the riches of your grace,

and in the renewal of our lives

make known your heavenly glory;

through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord,

who is alive and reigns with you

and the Holy Spirit,

one God, now and for ever. AMEN

 

A good plan

There is nothing like a good plan. A plan that works out.  Over Christmas I have had the opportunity to wake up later, to eat chocolate a lot, generally to indulge myself. It has been lovely. It felt rather freeing to have time off, there was no plan. It was great. Of course, this wouldn't be great forever. After all, it is good to respond to an alarm clock, eat more healthy food and know what day of the week it is. 

I was struck by a good plan when I thought about the gospel reading for this Sunday (Matthew 3:13-17).  The reading describes the baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist. On a side note, when I think of John the Baptist, a name which describes what he did I think of tales of Welsh village life, with Jones the baker and Davies the butcher.  Back to John. We will know he was roughly the same age as Jesus. In the gospel according to Luke (1:39-45) there is the description of a pregnant Mary meeting a pregnant Elizabeth. The mother of Jesus and the mother of John the Baptist met, they were related. The closeness in age of Jesus and John means that they would have been around 30 years old when Jesus was baptised.  The gospel writer Luke provides us with the age of Jesus, at the beginning of His ministry (3:23).

In the gospel reading for Sunday, we see a plan in action. John the Baptist saw Jesus coming to him and asking for baptism. John was surprised and asked Jesus why. It is as if John, knowing how important Jesus was, did not feel worthy of baptising Him. It reminds me of a story of the civil war in America when one captain was bossing his troops around saying that they needed to lift some logs for him. The logs were more like tree trunks but the soldiers carried on. As they were doing this another man came and helped. The captain asked who the man was. The man replied that he was George Washington, the commander-in-chief. Basically, he was much more important than the captain but still willing to help out. For John, Jesus asking for baptism felt like a similar role reversal. Jesus asking to be baptised by John was a complete change of plan from the point of view of John. 

Jesus’ reply is also rather confusing.  His reply was, ‘Let it be so now; for it is proper for us in this way to fulfil all righteousness.’ Jesus knew the plan and He was sticking to it. The plan to be baptised, which led to the fulfilment of every part of the Trinity being involved. God the Son had God the Spirit descend on Him, whilst God the Father announced that God the Son was His beloved. I could think of lots of difficult discussions and questions about the Trinity.  But, the main thing that sticks for me, is that Jesus was baptised, just like us.  Then the wonderful point is that in doing something just like us, God showed Himself as Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

This is an amazing plan. However, for John the Baptist, his plan was thrown by God asking him to do more than he expected.  Yet what a wonderful moment it must have been for him.  It makes sense really. This is because, if God disrupts our plans and we listen to His call there is always a wonderful experience waiting.

This is something that caused Peter, in another of the readings for Sunday  (Acts 10:34-43) to say, of Jesus,

“All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.” (vs.43)